There is no room for assumptions in birth work.
There is no room for assumptions in birth work. As a birth doula, one of my key responsibilities is ensuring that those on the care team do not do anything without consent. So, this means that no one is assuming that it’s okay to turn up the pitocin without asking, or to do a cervical exam without asking, or to cut the cord without asking. Removing assumptions from the birth space also includes changing the way that we word things. Instead of saying, “I’m just gonna turn up the pitocin,” as you’re reaching for the button, you would say, “How are you feeling at the current dosage of Pitocin? Are you okay with turning up the dose? Would you like any more information on potential risks and benefits of increasing the dose?” Can you see the difference? The first phrase assumes that everyone involved is okay with the action, even though no questions have been asked, no consent has been obtained, and no information has been shared. The second phrase includes asking the birthing person how they’re feeling and offering opportunities for the birthing person to be informed and know to what she is agreeing.
There is also no room for assumptions specifically within birth doula and photography work. I know that each pregnancy and birth is unique, so that means that no one is going to have the same labor and birth. Each birthing person has individual values, preferences, and life experiences that determine what is important to them during labor and birth. I also fully understand that pregnancy and birth plans can change in an instant when you get a new diagnosis that you weren’t expecting. My role as your doula is to encourage asking questions to your care provider to get information for all options, all risks and benefits, and all potential outcomes. My role as your birth photographer is to capture your story, regardless of the twists and turns (or lack thereof) that it took to get there.
I will make no assumptions about you, and please don’t make any assumptions about me. If you are going to make any assumptions about me, I’ll list out a few for you below that are true and a few that are false. My goal in doing this is to show that it’s easy to create false narratives in our heads. As your birth doula and photographer, I will always be rooting for you and never judging you. I will always support you and never shame you.
True Assumptions About Me:
I will gladly sit and talk about pregnancy and birth with you for hours if that’s your jam too (especially when a nice cup of coffee is involved)
When I ask questions, it’s only to ensure that you are informed, regardless of the decision you end up making
I want your partner at the prenatal visits and engaged in the prep work we are doing
Any texts with random pregnancy or labor questions are always welcome
I will do all the hip squeezes, foot rubs, shoulder massages, or affirmations that you want when it’s go time
No, I don’t care if you poop while you’re pushing
I will support you through whatever labor and birth scenario you choose or the one we end up in due to uncontrollable circumstances
I love any updates postpartum about how you and your family are doing (good or bad)
False Assumptions About Me:
When I ask questions, it is because I’m judging the decision you’re making
Your texts or phone calls are bothersome
I replace the role of your partner
I only advocate for vaginal and unmedicated births
I will be a silent bystander and not advocate for informed consent
I don’t want any updates after the birth