I don’t trust the birthing process, but I do respect it.

I don’t trust the birthing process, but I do respect it. Coming from a birth doula and photographer, this might throw you off, so let me explain what I mean. So often, we are told to trust our bodies and the process of birth. We are told that our bodies will know how to carry a healthy pregnancy, our bodies will know when to go into labor, our bodies will know how to labor, our bodies will know how to produce milk to feed our children afterwards, and our bodies will know how to heal in the postpartum period. The problem with these statements is that it leaves many women feeling like their bodies are broken when their bodies didn’t do one of these things. Many women develop conditions during pregnancy that lead to an induction of labor due to risks to the mom or baby. Many women experience labor stalls that cause them to labor for hours without labor progress. Some women don’t develop the needed glandular tissue to produce milk to breastfeed their babies. Many women develop postpartum mood disorders that can cause recovery to be a complicated road. And, if all these women hear is that their bodies are supposed to know how to do these things, they can start to wonder what is wrong with them.

The answer is that nothing is wrong with them. As people, we so often want to believe that we can control the things that happen to us. However, the truth is that many things are out of our control much of the time. That is a scary thought to sit with. But, that is the reality of our lives, especially with pregnancy and birth. These exact scenarios of when things don’t go to plan is why a birth doula and photographer is so instrumental to the birthing process. I can help reassure you that your body is not broken. I can help go through the different scenarios with you to find which option you are most comfortable with. I can help provide questions to ask your care provider to determine the risks and benefits of each scenario when something unexpected does arise. I can point you to resources to help with the unexpected postpartum mood disorder or troubles with breastfeeding.

Now, even though there are many things out of our control, I do think that there are many ways that we can support our bodies to give ourselves the best chances of having healthy pregnancies and births. Often, you’ll hear people say that pregnancy is an excuse to eat whatever you want, and I do not agree with that. Pregnancy is one of the seasons in our lives where we should be the most intentional about what we are eating because we are nourishing ourselves and another human being. Now, there should always be balance with everything and I am not saying to obsess over food or to not have ice cream, because I know that there is so much nuance to each person’s relationship with food. Let’s do our best to have a well-rounded diet, do our research to take quality supplements, and get in daily movement. At the end of the day, I know that many mammas are doing the best that they can for themselves and their families, and I applaud that. Let’s stop putting shame on mammas for things that they can’t control, and instead help give them the resources to prosper in the areas where they do have control. This will then lead mothers into pregnancies and births where they can respect the process and have an empowering experience.